- Rant Shack
- →
- General Discussion
- →
- The Body Politic
- →
- Religion or lack there of
- →
- The Palmer Missionary Thread
| Welcome to the Laser Party. We are made of sex. You, on the other hand, are the embodiment sadness and are typified by your longing to matter. This amuses us. Fret not, however, for you can easily overcome this condition. In order to become the human concept of Joy, as we have done, you can do one of two things. The first is to undertake a journey to Ancient Ademadegon and return with the the 3 heads of the Awesomegret which roosts in the Crystal Caverns of Caramel Colors. Or, two, register on this site. They are basically the same thing, really. Click here for option two. <- Registration If you're already good at winning then log in below: |
| The Palmer Missionary Thread | |
|---|---|
| Topic Started: Feb 21 2010, 05:51 PM (593 Views) | |
| Palmer | Feb 21 2010, 05:51 PM Post #1 |
Lvl 8 Admiral
  ![]](http://209.85.122.83/static/1/pip_r.png)
|
Yes, that's right. My application is in to serve has a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. In 2 to 3 weeks I will receive a letter that names the mission I will be attending and when I will leave. I will most likely be serving for 24 months. There are missions in most major countries. I have friends serving in the US, Mexico, Brazil, Argentina, Japan, Thailand, Finland, Lithuania, India, Spain, Kenya, Madagascar, and more. Yes, I will be wearing a suit or a white shirt and tie at mostly all times. Yes, depending on my mission I will be either driving, riding a bike, or walking. Yes, there's a large chance I will learn another language. Should I need to learn another language, I will attend the Missionary Training Center for 3 months instead of 3 weeks. When the call comes I will post it here and on Facebook. Use this thread to flame Christianity/Mormonism, ask questions, guess a country, or just try to derail it. 
Edited by Palmer, Feb 21 2010, 07:07 PM.
|
 |
 
|
| Wastrel | Feb 21 2010, 06:10 PM Post #2 |
Fry-to-the-Maximum "The Original Black Man" (the artist formerly known as Sex) LaKillsio
|
w...what |
| |
|
|
|
| Haithar | Feb 21 2010, 06:22 PM Post #3 |
weeeeeeee
|
24 months? Ho damn. I hope you get a nice country or that'll be pretty shitty. |
|
,___, ,___,, [O.o] (-, -)' /)__) (__ (\ -"--"- -"--"- O RLY? YA RLY. | |
|
|
|
| Palmer | Feb 21 2010, 07:05 PM Post #4 |
|
Lvl 8 Admiral
|
Indeed, thank you for your comment.
My brother served in the slums of Sao Paulo, Brazil. Everyone had a gun, and he saw a couple of people shot. But everyone survives. It's not a vacation, that's for sure. Edit: Added extra info about languages in the OP. Edited by Palmer, Feb 21 2010, 07:28 PM.
|
|
|
|
| Fed FFS | Feb 21 2010, 07:29 PM Post #5 |
Lvl 8 Admiral
|
AMIRITE?!? WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE |
|
To be is to do. -Socrates To do is to be. -Sartre Do be do be do. -Sinatra | |
|
|
|
| Haithar | Feb 21 2010, 07:34 PM Post #6 |
|
weeeeeeee
|
Spot on Fed, spot on. I hope you get Taiwan AND LEARN MANDARIN CHINESE! Then we can finally communicate. I always see a shit ton of Mormon guys in their white shirts in Taiwan riding on their bicycles. |
|
,___, ,___,, [O.o] (-, -)' /)__) (__ (\ -"--"- -"--"- O RLY? YA RLY. | |
|
|
|
| Palmer | Feb 21 2010, 07:41 PM Post #7 |
|
Lvl 8 Admiral
|
Had a friend do that very thing. Got back last year. Also met a guy who to Australia speaking Mandarin. Wurd. |
|
|
|
| Pyroclasm | Feb 21 2010, 10:32 PM Post #8 |
STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM
|
Wait, two years? Wow. Congratulations on a level of dedication I would never be able to achieve. I am kind of curious, though. Who funds all this? Where do you live? How do you pay for, you know, food and stuff? |
| "Doesn't matter what the press says. Doesn't matter what the politicians or the mobs say. Doesn't matter if the whole country decides that something wrong is something right. This nation was founded on one principle above all else: the requirement that we stand up for what we believe, no matter the odds or the consequences. When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world - "No, you move."" | |
|
|
|
| Palmer | Feb 21 2010, 11:51 PM Post #9 |
|
Lvl 8 Admiral
|
Thanks. Myself and my family fund it. It's a total of about $9000, all said and done. (However, if you don't have the money then you can apply for financial aid and the Church will help you out.) My parents will be paying about $450 a month from back home here in the US. The Church is very hierarchical, and "Mission Presidents" are appointed that take care of finding apartment contracts where missionaries live. Missionaries then receive a monthly budget from a portion of that $450, and they are also aloud to buy extra groceries/souvenirs/things with their own debit cards and cash. Kids in Brazil thought my brother was extremely rich because their dollar is about equivalent to our quarter, so he gave out money to kids and friends all the time. Edited by Palmer, Feb 21 2010, 11:57 PM.
|
|
|
|
| DA_KLOWN | Feb 22 2010, 12:24 AM Post #10 |
Gotta catch 'em all. Yep.
|
Our dollar is worth about 1.80 reais (their currency) there. I have a friend from Brazil who goes there every summer, and loves to buy shoes there because she literally pays half as much as she would here. Good luck with the trip and all |
|
My Shelf. Of books. | |
|
|
|
| Nuklearsamurai | Feb 22 2010, 01:57 AM Post #11 |
The Winter Master
|
Isn't it great how that mission trip comes smack dab in the middle of your college career? |
| Only in music does 0+0=12 | |
|
|
|
| Palmer | Feb 22 2010, 02:06 AM Post #12 |
|
Lvl 8 Admiral
|
I see. That's cool and all, but he worked with some very poor people and he said some of it was pretty depressing. Well, you are aloud to apply from the age of 19-25 I believe. So I guess I could wait till after school, but I'd rather do it now. Also, BYU deals with several thousand missionaries a year, so they have this process pretty down pat. Right when I get off the plane I will be able to pick up school right where I left off. But yeah, it is kind of coming right in the prime of life. Edited by Palmer, Feb 22 2010, 02:06 AM.
|
|
|
|
| Wastrel | Feb 22 2010, 02:25 AM Post #13 |
|
Fry-to-the-Maximum "The Original Black Man" (the artist formerly known as Sex) LaKillsio
|
Since when did they start recruiting giraffes???? |
|
| |
|
|
|
| DarkSteele | Feb 22 2010, 02:40 AM Post #14 |
My chest hair makes a bird.
|
I too am worried about the adverse affect that a giraffe missionary might have for the church's image. Also, I will not flame/shut down/douche out in this thread if you get crackin on makein dem images transparent homie |
The fabulous Rantshack store /  /  /  /  /  | |
|
|
| Josh | Feb 22 2010, 05:28 AM Post #15 |
yay black people!
|
Sounds like it'll be a pretty awesome experience. Hope you get to go to India and learn to play the Sitar. |
|
How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could wood?!?! | |
|
|
|
| Nuklearsamurai | Feb 22 2010, 08:54 AM Post #16 |
|
The Winter Master
|
and so I have another question, is this missionary excursion mandatory for all mormons? |
| Only in music does 0+0=12 | |
|
|
|
| Palmer | Feb 22 2010, 02:36 PM Post #17 |
|
Lvl 8 Admiral
|
Negatory. Highly encouraged though. We believe Jesus meant what he said when he told the Apostles to take the gospel unto all the world. In this sense, it's our responsibility to be missionaries. The idea is not to force everyone to convert, however, but rather make sure everyone has the chance to hear the good word, ya know? PS if you would like a Mormon Questionnaire thread feel free to start one. Good mission preparation. Thanks man, that would be awesome. I knew someone who went to Scotland and learned the play the bagpipes. Man, ever since the Prop 8 fiasco the church has been pretty desperate. However, people are pretty willing the listen to talking animals. Much like the talking donkey in the Bible. I thought I responded to that thread? |
|
|
|
| AlphaStrikeSteve | Feb 23 2010, 02:41 AM Post #18 |
|
How tight of reins do they have you on when you're missioning? Are you supposed to basically work a 9-5 daily? Do you guys go off in groups or do they mix and match people? Do they get bulk discounts on white shirt/black pants or do you provide your own? Has anyone tried to get away with light grey shirt/dark dark grey pants? What happens when you actually get a convert? Will you have to work with a quota? Is 2 years a standard enlistment period? Are you able to specify a preferred country? Are there any countries that Mormons are specifically trying to target, or avoid (or can't go? N.Korea?) What proportion of Mormons actually go on missions? Is missioning typically only done by younger people? What are you allowed to bring with you when you ship out? How fast can a typical Mormon bike? What is the strategy typically used when trying to talk with people? What if they ship you somewhere in Amurrca or EU (ie how is that 450 a month gonna cut it?) Do you have any advice for someone that should be studying but is asking questions about Mormons? Thanks. |
|
_██_ (ಠ_ృ) | |
|
|
|
| DarkSteele | Feb 23 2010, 10:53 AM Post #19 |
|
My chest hair makes a bird.
|
Can you kill unconditionally or only if its sanctioned by the church? What about self defense? What about defense of a child? What about defense of a Christian child? One time I heard a story about Mormons, do you know it? What if you find out someone is embezzling? Three days ago I saw a guy with a tie on a bike and thought of you, is that a part of your larger conversion strategy? If you die do we get to go to the funeral or is it Mormons only? Are you guaranteed a heaven spot if you die on mission? Are you going to be building homes or something? If not, what actual works are you going to be doing? Do you plan to embezzle? Digging wells? If you don't get any converts do they shun you when you get back? Do you get patches for sweet achievements/work you did? Like an "end sectarian violence in your region" patch? If you DO get loads of converts who trains them to go out and do their mission? I would imagine getting a convert is going to give you a warm feeling, isn't that pride a bit non Christian? And, finally, how much do you plan to embezzle before you die? Thanks. |
|
The fabulous Rantshack store / / / / / | |
|
|
|
| Palmer | Feb 23 2010, 02:48 PM Post #20 |
|
Lvl 8 Admiral
|
You are put with a companion, that changes every few months. You live together, and are not aloud out of each other's sight. Occasionally, if a missionary gets sick or something, you can go off in triplets. You are also able to split up and go visits members of the church with other members (non-missionary). You are on a very strict schedule from 6:30am to 10:30pm. You are responsible from planning your day from about 10am-9pm.
You provide your own. There is a place in Utah called the "Missionary Mall" that does some discount stuff. It's not always black pants, just dark and reserved colors. I'm actually taking a gray suit. You spend a few weeks teaching them lessons about Mormon doctrine, usually in their home. Then you ask and make sure they are ready to live by gospel principles. (ie no drinking/smoking/sexing/sinning) If they are ready, then they are baptized and become a full-fledged member like everyone else. No. In my brother's mission, he baptized a family about every week. In some missions, you never ever baptize person. European missions are very hard because everyone is extremely devout Catholic. Asian missions are hard because many people have never heard of Jesus Christ. Yes. 24 months for guys, 18 months for girls. Girls are not really pushed to go on missions, but are more than welcome to. Not unless you are an old person. If you are an elderly person, you can say exactly where you want to go. Every country that we aloud to go to, we go to. Many countries don't let missionaries in, though. China was closed for a long time, as was Russia and Ukraine. No one ever imagined Russia would ever let us in. Countries like Iraq and Afghanistan are obviously closed for now. I'm not sure. Most of the guys. I hear less and less are going though. Yeah. When you receive your call, you also receive a list of recommended items. This includes toiletries, extra clothes, etc. But really, not much. No phone, no laptop, no iPod. You are kept focused. Probably not very fast. Do you just mean on the street? The ideal situation would a Mormon coming up to and saying "Hey, my friend wants to learn more", in which case we're on it like white on rice. However, in the street, it would go something like this: "Hello there, we'd like to teach you a unique message about Jesus Christ; in that he knows us, loves us, and still lives. He has also called a prophet on the Earth today to continue his ministry." After which, they either ask for more, punch us, or slam the door. There's a huge chance I will stay in the states. The church covers some of the costs, and each mission actually costs different amounts of money. The church will always help where they need to.
No, but you're welcome. Edited by Palmer, Feb 23 2010, 02:49 PM.
|
|
|
|
| Palmer | Feb 23 2010, 02:59 PM Post #21 |
|
Lvl 8 Admiral
|
I would just like to say that this post is not as cool as Steven's because you copied him. However, I will comply.Can't kill. Ever. Unless you're a soldier. In self defense you could kill, if absolutely necessary. What does defense of a child even mean? The Mountain Meadow Massacre? Joe Smith and the Gold bible? That we think we can be Gods? That Jesus was a Mormon? The Satan is Jesus' brother? That we're Jesus' siblings? That the Book of Mormon shouldn't exist because the book of Revelation says that no more words shall be added to the scriptures? Meh. ..what? Aww, thanks. I suppose so. But I hadn't intended it. We have no special funeral ceremonies. Just regular type. And the latter is a complicated question unless you understand Mormon ideology of Heaven. But basically, probably. No, this isn't that type of mission. Sure, you get involved in service; but your main goal is teaching people about the gospel. For example, the missionaries in Sugar Land helped cut down trees and clean up houses after hurricans Rita and Ike. No, it's all based on effort. No patches. They should learn most of what they need to by going to Church. We have three hours of church. First hour is communion and preaching, the last two are classes. There is a special class for new converts. Since when was a warm feeling non-Christian? It's okay to be proud of yourself for achieving something, but not thinking you're better than other people. ..None? Welcome. |
|
|
|
| DarkSteele | Feb 23 2010, 04:59 PM Post #22 |
|
My chest hair makes a bird.
|
Missionary Mall sounds cool, I would like to go there. |
|
The fabulous Rantshack store / / / / / | |
|
|
|
| Professor Sunshine | Feb 23 2010, 05:49 PM Post #23 |
Leader of the Gumdrop Gang
|
Wait... what? All of those things. I don't even. Can I has enlightenment? Y/N. |
|
|
|
| DarkSteele | Feb 23 2010, 05:58 PM Post #24 |
|
My chest hair makes a bird.
|
Most of that is from that crazy Catholic(?) propaganda video we had on the site a few years ago (it got taken off youtube for being so blatantly cray cray). You can probably find it if you google "anti Mormon propaganda video" or something. By the way, this may not have been readily apparent but I was only really serious with the "what kind of work will you be doing" and "who trains the people you convert" questions. |
|
The fabulous Rantshack store / / / / / | |
|
|
|
| Palmer | Feb 23 2010, 06:59 PM Post #25 |
|
Lvl 8 Admiral
|
There have been several Mormon bashing videos, I don't even know the one your talking about. Prop 8 spawned a whole new breed of them. WHAT YOU WEREn"T SERiUS AW I WAST3D MY TIME
Y. Takes note that these statements were mostly sarcasm. I will make a Mormon Discussion thread, as this is more for questions about being a Mishunary. |
|
|
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
| Go to Next Page | |
| « Previous Topic · Religion or lack there of · Next Topic » |
| Track Topic · E-mail Topic |
 7:40 PM Jul 30
|
Theme by James... of the ZBTZ and themeszetaboards.com
