Stupid Commercials

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Stupid Commercials; rant about them here
Topic Started: Nov 30 2009, 07:15 PM (1,094 Views)
DarkSteele	Nov 30 2009, 07:15 PM Post #1
My chest hair makes a bird. Posts: 14,629 Group: Super-Mod Member #9 Joined: August 4, 2004	This is a topic for ranting about commercials. Specifically, commercials that suck. Here are a couple I'm hating on right now: 1.Kayak commercial where a man appears to be talking about Normandy WWII. Then you realize he just wants to go to Cancun. HAHAHAHAHAHH THATS SUPER FUNNY 100% COOL. I LOVE TRIVIALIZING WWII!! 2. The Kay commercial with the deaf girl. What. Seriously? Is this supposed to be some backhanded way of saying "deaf girls deserve jewelry now too?" And, honestly, the guy in the commercial seems like a tots douche! If the amount he spent on that jewelry and the fact that they are spending Christmas together is any judge they've been dating for a while... and he doesn't even have a firm grasp on sign language?! Fuck that shit, she can do better. P.s. it has the standard message about men not being worth much unless they give you expensive shit.
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Wastrel	Nov 30 2009, 07:31 PM Post #2
Fry-to-the-Maximum "The Original Black Man" (the artist formerly known as Sex) LaKillsio Posts: 2,071 Group: Members Member #42 Joined: September 29, 2004	he bought a watch you doucheface



DarkSteele	Nov 30 2009, 08:30 PM Post #3
My chest hair makes a bird. Posts: 14,629 Group: Super-Mod Member #9 Joined: August 4, 2004	Wastrel Nov 30 2009, 07:31 PM he bought a watch you doucheface Counts.
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Wastrel	Nov 30 2009, 08:58 PM Post #4
Fry-to-the-Maximum "The Original Black Man" (the artist formerly known as Sex) LaKillsio Posts: 2,071 Group: Members Member #42 Joined: September 29, 2004	Well I'm completely ignoring the fact that you're being overly uppity about the fact that she's deaf. He's being bashful not being a douche, and you've taken Spanish all these years and hardly know how to say anything other than jokes and insults. Edited by Wastrel, Nov 30 2009, 08:58 PM.



DarkSteele	Nov 30 2009, 09:38 PM Post #5
My chest hair makes a bird. Posts: 14,629 Group: Super-Mod Member #9 Joined: August 4, 2004	Wastrel Nov 30 2009, 08:58 PM Well I'm completely ignoring the fact that you're being overly uppity about the fact that she's deaf. He's being bashful not being a douche, and you've taken Spanish all these years and hardly know how to say anything other than jokes and insults. yes but I don't love any Spanish people (except fed and randy I guess) ALSO IM 100% SERIOUS ALL THE TIME AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH seriously though, I pretty much just thought it was really weird that they used a "deaf" girl in the ad and that THIS was the angle they decided to take this year to guilt guys into getting shit for girls and to make girls think they deserve expensive shit Also, this. Miracle whip will NOT TURN IT DOWN FUCK YOU WE'RE HAVING FUN AND BEING INDIVIDUALS GET THE FUCK BACK YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT I HAVE A FUCKING GUN, DON'T MAKE A FUCKING MOVE OR I'LL BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT. Edited by DarkSteele, Nov 30 2009, 09:42 PM.
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Wastrel	Nov 30 2009, 10:05 PM Post #6
Fry-to-the-Maximum "The Original Black Man" (the artist formerly known as Sex) LaKillsio Posts: 2,071 Group: Members Member #42 Joined: September 29, 2004	I cannot argue for Miracle Whip with such a stupid ad campaign so you win. SUCK A DICK JOHN YOU DON'T GO RANT WITHOUT BEING 100% SERIOUS. Edited by Wastrel, Nov 30 2009, 10:09 PM.



Haithar	Dec 1 2009, 12:04 AM Post #7
weeeeeeee Posts: 3,390 Group: Members Member #88 Joined: April 14, 2005	Gap Little Girls Sluts in the making, that and it's freaky. and the deaf girl commercial was sweet in my opinion, but I have a vagina, what do I know, yah? But I thought it was stupid that he got her a watch, I was thinking of earrings or necklace or a ring, any one of those would be a sweeter thing than a stupid ugly watch.
	,___,��,___,, [O.o]��(-, -)' /)__)��(__ (\ -"--"-��-"--"- O RLY?��YA RLY.


DarkSteele	Dec 1 2009, 03:17 AM Post #8
My chest hair makes a bird. Posts: 14,629 Group: Super-Mod Member #9 Joined: August 4, 2004	HEATHER TALK TO THE MOOSE.
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DarkSteele	Dec 1 2009, 10:42 PM Post #9
My chest hair makes a bird. Posts: 14,629 Group: Super-Mod Member #9 Joined: August 4, 2004	Every five hour energy commercial ever. But this one specifically. Seriously. I think their suckage is pretty self-evident: poorly cut together, staged "true stories," horrible fucking jokes... But, like I said, I want to discuss the last commercial the most. Breakdown: Whats in it? LETS LIST SOME SHIT. Or, you know, its in you- whatever that means. Look ALL WE KNOW is its got caffeine. Like coffee. Not just any coffee, though, fucking PREMIUM shit. It doesn't have fucking herbs or sugar and like no calories at all. You'll get smooth energy. Here is a drawing of a guy biking on some shit that isn't smooth. And wait. HERE IS THE BEST PART. WE'VE DEVISED A FOOLPROOF METHOD OF SEEING IF THIS SHIT IS RIGHT FOR YOU. Step 1: buy our product with your money, give us the money okay good we've got the money Step 2: try only a SMALL amount of the product instead of drinking the WHOLE THING Step 3: using the power of taste FIGURE OUT IF YOU LIKE IT OR NOT! Step 4: drink the rest of it if you like it or throw it away or something, we don't care because we already got your money I... sigh*
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Forum Pimp	Dec 1 2009, 11:00 PM Post #10
butterflies imo Posts: 3,861 Group: Administrator Member #1 Joined: July 19, 2004	Dude don't knock 5 hour energy shots, those things have saved lives
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AlphaStrikeSteve	Dec 1 2009, 11:59 PM Post #11
Posts: -3,817 Group: Administrator Member #2 Joined: July 19, 2004	the one with the tissues and the lady that's all "If you like to dish juicy gossip, choose me, pam, to be, your, mother" or somesuch annoying
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Palmer	Dec 2 2009, 12:39 AM Post #12
Lvl 8 Admiral Posts: 3,123 Group: Members Member #97 Joined: June 27, 2005	Forum Pimp Dec 1 2009, 11:00 PM Dude don't knock 5 hour energy shots, those things have saved lives They taste like stomach acid to me. Steele, I didn't think the commercial was that annoying. Misleading? Maybe.* But it's not that annoying... Quote: the one with the tissues and the lady that's all "If you like to dish juicy gossip, choose me, pam, to be, your, mother" or somesuch wat *Not really



DarkSteele	Dec 2 2009, 01:37 PM Post #13
My chest hair makes a bird. Posts: 14,629 Group: Super-Mod Member #9 Joined: August 4, 2004	Look mang. Not all of us have the infinite patience your religion provides. Compliment or insult, you decide! edit: I agree, btw, that they taste terrible. Also, I have fallen asleep 20 minutes after drinking one. Edited by DarkSteele, Dec 2 2009, 01:37 PM.
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Pyroclasm	Dec 2 2009, 05:59 PM Post #14
STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM Posts: 724 Group: Members Member #37 Joined: September 15, 2004	Any Viagra/Cialis commercial, but especially the one with the old couple sitting in bathtubs on a hillside as the sun sets. SO FUCKING WRINKLY. uncontrollable shudder
	"Doesn't matter what the press says. Doesn't matter what the politicians or the mobs say. Doesn't matter if the whole country decides that something wrong is something right. This nation was founded on one principle above all else: the requirement that we stand up for what we believe, no matter the odds or the consequences. When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world - "No, you move.""


DarkSteele	Dec 3 2009, 08:11 PM Post #15
My chest hair makes a bird. Posts: 14,629 Group: Super-Mod Member #9 Joined: August 4, 2004	Wastrel Nov 30 2009, 07:31 PM he bought a watch you doucheface RYAN FUCK YOU, I just saw the one on tv here and its a bracelet. I fucking knew it you harshdouche. edit: ALSO. For some reason every single fucking Target commercial about Christmas is depressing or at the very least distressing. I don't understand their tactics. Edited by DarkSteele, Dec 3 2009, 08:38 PM.
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Wastrel	Dec 3 2009, 09:21 PM Post #16
Fry-to-the-Maximum "The Original Black Man" (the artist formerly known as Sex) LaKillsio Posts: 2,071 Group: Members Member #42 Joined: September 29, 2004	what the fuck it's clearly a watch in THAT deo p.s. the one on TV is a watch too. Edited by Wastrel, Dec 3 2009, 10:53 PM.



DarkSteele	Dec 3 2009, 11:37 PM Post #17
My chest hair makes a bird. Posts: 14,629 Group: Super-Mod Member #9 Joined: August 4, 2004	the new levis commercials. What the fuck? You have one of the greatest American poets reading his poem "America" about manifest destiny. Fine, that goes with the entire levis theme of Rugged-Americans-Wear-This-Shit that they usually go for. But... all the shots are of a bunch of hipsters etc. running around doing useless shit? How does that fit with the poem at all? I guess they are trying to say the spirit of manifest destiny is in these people, but thats bullshit. How many continents are these idiots traversing? How many of them are hacking out hard lives in the wilderness to build the foundation for our country? Fucking none. The hardest part of their lives is deciding whose goddamn turn it is to change out the bong water and who is using their parents' gas card to get them to the next waterfall on their vision quest. Also, I don't understand why there is a shot of gay dudes kissing (a youtuber mentioned that its probably because it is believed that Whitman was gay) and everyone keeps taking off their shirts and flying through the air and shit. PLUS, at 25 seconds a girl is heiling hitler. Better idea to sell levis: Western town complete with main street and dirt road down the middle two men, one the good guy with a white hat the other a bad guy with a black hat, draw on each other and fire one man, the one with the black hat, slowly crumples the camera pauses staring at the spot the dieing man occupied, about waist height white hat walks into the frame and you see the levis tag on the back of his jeans In short, commercials need more vigilante justice/ borderline murder.
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neilganon	Dec 4 2009, 03:44 AM Post #18
Gleeok Posts: 181 Group: Members Member #194 Joined: July 10, 2007	I find that whenever I'm in a bad mood, commercials piss me the hell off, and make me remember why I hardly ever watch TV



Palmer	Dec 4 2009, 09:14 PM Post #19
Lvl 8 Admiral Posts: 3,123 Group: Members Member #97 Joined: June 27, 2005	We, the Rantshack, should be in charge of producing better commercials.



AlphaStrikeSteve	Dec 5 2009, 02:21 AM Post #20
Posts: -3,817 Group: Administrator Member #2 Joined: July 19, 2004	on the subject of commercials i would like to at least note that columbia sportswear has some pretty decent ones. but not so much at making you remember them cause i had to dig around in google for the name
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DarkSteele	Dec 5 2009, 03:34 AM Post #21
My chest hair makes a bird. Posts: 14,629 Group: Super-Mod Member #9 Joined: August 4, 2004	I just saw a commercial where a man is running from wolves and a boar and eventually a grizzly bear. John Approved.
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DarkSteele	Dec 16 2009, 09:57 AM Post #22
My chest hair makes a bird. Posts: 14,629 Group: Super-Mod Member #9 Joined: August 4, 2004	relevant
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DA_KLOWN	Dec 16 2009, 04:59 PM Post #23
Gotta catch 'em all. Yep. Posts: 2,481 Group: Members Member #147 Joined: August 26, 2006	Lololol. Nice.
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Element	Dec 21 2009, 11:44 AM Post #24
Benny Lava 2012 Posts: 2,219 Group: Moderator Member #10 Joined: August 5, 2004	I think the deaf girl Kay commercial is cute too. :\| Quote: and he doesn't even have a firm grasp on sign language? Doesn't necessarily have to. My cousin married a Mexican and she doesn't know any Spanish. I imagine this dude keeps a dry erase board handy around the house. I'm so happy I don't see these commercials anymore.
	here.


DarkSteele	Dec 21 2009, 01:03 PM Post #25
My chest hair makes a bird. Posts: 14,629 Group: Super-Mod Member #9 Joined: August 4, 2004	yeah I always thought those were weird, its like some kind of new age religion commercial but about a phone... how did they think it was a good idea?
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