Narwhal Appreciation Thread

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Narwhal Appreciation Thread
Topic Started: Feb 17 2009, 10:36 PM (1,072 Views)
neilganon	Feb 17 2009, 10:36 PM Post #1
Gleeok Posts: 181 Group: Members Member #194 Joined: July 10, 2007	All narwhal depictions and related material welcome! If you don't like narwhals, I kindly invite you to drown yourself in a sea of dicks. IMPORTANT NARWHAL INFORMATION SECTION: Narwhals are invisible. They can only be discerned by guide lasers on shotguns. All drawings are therefore artist concepts of what a narwhal would look like in real life. Narwhals are fierce, deadly creatures. We show them the utmost respect so they don't impale us in our sleep. Remember, if you ever come across a narwhal, remember that it wants to hurt you and it would be prudent to shit yourself. Edited by neilganon, Feb 17 2009, 10:37 PM.



DarkSteele	Feb 17 2009, 10:44 PM Post #2
My chest hair makes a bird. Posts: 14,629 Group: Super-Mod Member #9 Joined: August 4, 2004	The Narwhal tusk is made of fear, the largest tusk ever measured had length of Terror meters. This is because no narwhal has ever acquiesced to its tusk being measured.
	The fabulous Rantshack store / / / / /


Vladmir F.	Feb 17 2009, 11:00 PM Post #3
Lvl 2 Ranterling Posts: 179 Group: Members Member #2,570 Joined: October 21, 2008	I've posted these before, but NARWHALS ARE WORTH IT! I've got a new never-before seen one being scanned, so stay tuned narwhal lovers!
	"It's cold in Siberia." Vladmir Fookstov : Я надеюсь, вы не возражаете, если я себе Распутин большой петух внутри Dan : And ам лоял that we мистресс Славься, Отечество наше свободное, Дружбы народов надёжный оплот! Партия Ленина � сила народная Нас к торжеству коммунизма ведёт!


AlphaStrikeSteve	Feb 17 2009, 11:01 PM Post #4
Posts: -3,817 Group: Administrator Member #2 Joined: July 19, 2004	once godzilla dreamt of narwhals he woke in cold sweat then trashed tokyo out of despair
	_██_ (ಠ_ృ)


DarkSteele	Feb 17 2009, 11:11 PM Post #5
My chest hair makes a bird. Posts: 14,629 Group: Super-Mod Member #9 Joined: August 4, 2004
	The fabulous Rantshack store / / / / /


neilganon	Feb 17 2009, 11:25 PM Post #6
Gleeok Posts: 181 Group: Members Member #194 Joined: July 10, 2007	MS Paint montage: Edited by neilganon, Feb 17 2009, 11:26 PM.



Vladmir F.	Feb 17 2009, 11:37 PM Post #7
Lvl 2 Ranterling Posts: 179 Group: Members Member #2,570 Joined: October 21, 2008
	"It's cold in Siberia." Vladmir Fookstov : Я надеюсь, вы не возражаете, если я себе Распутин большой петух внутри Dan : And ам лоял that we мистресс Славься, Отечество наше свободное, Дружбы народов надёжный оплот! Партия Ленина � сила народная Нас к торжеству коммунизма ведёт!


DarkSteele	Feb 18 2009, 12:15 AM Post #8
My chest hair makes a bird. Posts: 14,629 Group: Super-Mod Member #9 Joined: August 4, 2004	Magnificent. Truly it has been oft theorized that the Narwhal killed its own young for nothing more than spite - but perhaps a deeper reason exists (as expressed in your artists' rendering, no doubt witnessed through the scope of a laser shotgun). The Fearsome Narwhal, the dragon rapist of the sea.
	The fabulous Rantshack store / / / / /


ENFORCER509	Feb 18 2009, 01:12 AM Post #9
Bear engineer Posts: 2,297 Group: Members Member #52 Joined: December 9, 2004	I don't think the "baby" is a narwhal at all, as it lacks its own horn.



DarkSteele	Feb 18 2009, 01:25 AM Post #10
My chest hair makes a bird. Posts: 14,629 Group: Super-Mod Member #9 Joined: August 4, 2004	Baby Narwhals don't have horns, nor do female narwhal. Though I suppose it could be a lesser whale - like a some kind of fucking stupid blue or baleen one or some shit. Fuck those. Those kinds of whales are what come out of a Narwhals pile of fucking SHIT. Origin of the Unicorn? Fucking Narwhal raped a goddamn Sea horse and scared it so bad it jumped out of the sea. Fact: this is what started life on land.
	The fabulous Rantshack store / / / / /


Vladmir F.	Feb 18 2009, 01:52 AM Post #11
Lvl 2 Ranterling Posts: 179 Group: Members Member #2,570 Joined: October 21, 2008	I'd have to say Enforcer is right. At the time of sketching this on location, I could see this whale with my naked eye. The behavior of this whale was strange, it merely drifted as if it were deceased, so i took a closer look with my laser-sight shotgun. Lo and behold i saw the horn protruding from the whale's lifeless skull. I promptly hauled ass out of there for fear of my life.
	"It's cold in Siberia." Vladmir Fookstov : Я надеюсь, вы не возражаете, если я себе Распутин большой петух внутри Dan : And ам лоял that we мистресс Славься, Отечество наше свободное, Дружбы народов надёжный оплот! Партия Ленина � сила народная Нас к торжеству коммунизма ведёт!


Palmer	Feb 18 2009, 02:29 AM Post #12
Lvl 8 Admiral Posts: 3,123 Group: Members Member #97 Joined: June 27, 2005	Dude... epic. That picture is the most rockin' of rockin' pics.



Forum Pimp	Feb 18 2009, 05:33 PM Post #13
butterflies imo Posts: 3,861 Group: Administrator Member #1 Joined: July 19, 2004	This whole thread is pretty much win.
	◑ ◔ ╔═╗ ║▓▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░ SHOOP DA WOOP ╚═╝


DarkSteele	Feb 19 2009, 03:30 AM Post #14
My chest hair makes a bird. Posts: 14,629 Group: Super-Mod Member #9 Joined: August 4, 2004	Since 1952 Santa has been a Narwhal. All of your presents have been peed on. Narwhals pee heart disease. Sorry.
	The fabulous Rantshack store / / / / /


Vladmir F.	Feb 19 2009, 10:10 PM Post #15
Lvl 2 Ranterling Posts: 179 Group: Members Member #2,570 Joined: October 21, 2008	NARWHAL vs. unicorn NOTE: Depictions of Narwhals in this video are not entirely accurate A) The power of the unicorns is over-exaggerated for dramatic effect B) Due to the inability of laser shotguns to accurately observe narwhals, behavior of the Narwhals depicted must be taken with a grain of salt. C) NARWHALS DO NOT DANCE, they slay. However, the narwhals do get the last hit, giving a shred of credibility to this video. Also the animation is nice, considering everything nowadays is vector based bullshit.
	"It's cold in Siberia." Vladmir Fookstov : Я надеюсь, вы не возражаете, если я себе Распутин большой петух внутри Dan : And ам лоял that we мистресс Славься, Отечество наше свободное, Дружбы народов надёжный оплот! Партия Ленина � сила народная Нас к торжеству коммунизма ведёт!


Fed FFS	Feb 19 2009, 10:41 PM Post #16
Lvl 8 Admiral Posts: 2,838 Group: Members Member #43 Joined: September 29, 2004	That was the icing of the cake for this thread...well played gents. Even though all this reeks of 4-chan, it also reeks of greatness. Furthermore... with hostilities mounting and renewed strains ailing the loose pact between the Unicorn and the Narwhal, it is important you all remember where your real loyalties lie. When you registered here, you invariably "Joined the love" thus implicating allegiance to the unicorn. God save us, if such a conflict were to break out, all the criminally posted propaganda pertaining to the Narwhal found within this thread will be pardoned due to it's relative (however slight) useful information in regards to engaging the Archenemy... Edited by Fed FFS, Feb 20 2009, 12:08 AM.
	To be is to do. -Socrates To do is to be. -Sartre Do be do be do. -Sinatra


DA_KLOWN	Feb 20 2009, 12:50 AM Post #17
Gotta catch 'em all. Yep. Posts: 2,481 Group: Members Member #147 Joined: August 26, 2006	Loved the animation.
	My Shelf. Of books.


Vladmir F.	Feb 20 2009, 01:19 AM Post #18
Lvl 2 Ranterling Posts: 179 Group: Members Member #2,570 Joined: October 21, 2008	BLASPHEMY! "Things you are agreeing to: 1. No spamming. Of anything. 2. No excessive penisery or douchebaggery. 3. No complaining about stuff the admins can't/won't change." I SEE NO SUCH UNICORN LOVE MANDATE NOT MY KIND OF LOVE (not safe for humanity)
	"It's cold in Siberia." Vladmir Fookstov : Я надеюсь, вы не возражаете, если я себе Распутин большой петух внутри Dan : And ам лоял that we мистресс Славься, Отечество наше свободное, Дружбы народов надёжный оплот! Партия Ленина � сила народная Нас к торжеству коммунизма ведёт!


neilganon	Feb 20 2009, 01:20 AM Post #19
Gleeok Posts: 181 Group: Members Member #194 Joined: July 10, 2007	The inherent problem with an implied allegiance sworn to the unicorns in the act of joining is the fact that us mere humans cannot form any substantive ties to either species. Picking sides in a conflict that transcends our realm is ultimately frivolous as a war would leave humanity all the poorer. This thread is an acknowledgment that our worst enemies can be great indeed, regardless of any concocted affiliation.



Fed FFS	Feb 20 2009, 01:55 AM Post #20
Lvl 8 Admiral Posts: 2,838 Group: Members Member #43 Joined: September 29, 2004	ohh lord my eyes.................................. why.... The imagery presented and elaborate reasoning given does stand to show that an alliance or affiliation cannot exist (if it ever did) with either of the species aforementioned. My previous claims are hereby null and all content dubbed "criminal propaganda" are hereby completely within their legal boundaries. May you burn in hell for putting that up.
	To be is to do. -Socrates To do is to be. -Sartre Do be do be do. -Sinatra


Josh	Feb 20 2009, 03:40 AM Post #21
yay black people! Posts: 1,028 Group: Members Member #178 Joined: March 23, 2007	I approve of the message conveyed by this thread. . .
	How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could wood?!?!


DarkSteele	Feb 20 2009, 11:53 AM Post #22
My chest hair makes a bird. Posts: 14,629 Group: Super-Mod Member #9 Joined: August 4, 2004	And that would be Fear the war of the horned ones?
	The fabulous Rantshack store / / / / /


DarkSteele	Feb 21 2009, 02:30 PM Post #23
My chest hair makes a bird. Posts: 14,629 Group: Super-Mod Member #9 Joined: August 4, 2004	Narwhals Narwhals this is how they were before the bloodrage came upon them
	The fabulous Rantshack store / / / / /


Josh	Feb 23 2009, 04:30 AM Post #24
yay black people! Posts: 1,028 Group: Members Member #178 Joined: March 23, 2007	I believe this to be an inaccurate representation of the average Narwhal (notice that Narwhal is capitalized to indicate its godliness). It is well known that the average Narwhal cannot be captured on camera unless it is dead (it is also impossible to kill a Narwhal), and that the only way to see it is with a laser sight equipped shotgun. Also, the deaths portrayed in this video are not nearly as brutal/grizzly/fucking intense as they should be. Edited by Josh, Feb 23 2009, 04:36 AM.
	How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could wood?!?!


neilganon	Feb 23 2009, 04:51 PM Post #25
Gleeok Posts: 181 Group: Members Member #194 Joined: July 10, 2007	They often enjoy pinning their victims on walls after feasting on their blood.



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